Playing Catch Up

In case you missed the big shocker, I am with child. I've actually been with child for over 3 months. And let me tell you, I have thoroughly enjoyed throwing people off course. I've continued to tell people that kids just weren't in the cards for Jeremy and I. I've pretended not to know the word "sonogram." I've had to stomach bug four different times. I'd taken a pregnancy test and it came back negative. I'd even told a co-worker how amazingly "family planning" was working for Jeremy and me. (Mind you: It really does work. I would recommend it to anyone who doesn't want to take birth control, but just know that a yellow day should really be treated as a red day... we knew this and decided to just go ahead and make a baby on a whim. No worries, we are thrilled we did.) 

 me at 13 weeks

Since I have had to pretend for the last 14 weeks and not share all the fun adventures of being pregnant, I have taken notes. Aren't you lucky??

March 26, 2010
I'm late. I'm never late. I tell Jeremy this right as he gets a call from some friends wanting us to meet up downtown. I really want a glass of wine, but now that I could be pregnant. Well, being the responsible adult I am, I decide we can't go until I know. We take the test twice. Then, go buy two more. I really wanted that glass of wine....

first set

second set

March 27, 2010
A day later, Jeremy doesn't think it's real. I laugh and say well it better start feeling real because in nine months if all goes well he may be a little shocked. :-) We laugh and begin planning. We are both really excited.

April 3, 2010 - April 9, 2010
I'm not so excited anymore. I can't keep any liquids or food down. I miss the entire week of work. I told Jeremy the parasite child within me is trying to kill me and immediately inform him of all my funeral plans. I also dehydrate and have to go to the doctor. They give me some powerful medicine and told me to call them if it doesn't help. It does and I live.

April 20, 2010
We have our first official appointment at our OB/GYN. Jeremy finally believes that I am with child. I think it was seeing the tadpole on the screen and hearing the heartbeat; it was 170 beats per minute and 3 cm long. It's really weird thinking of something growing inside me. I picture aliens and other weird stuff. Then, I have a panic attack and decide that I'm not going to think about it again. Whew!

April 25, 2010 - April 27, 2010
Great... Once again, I'm throwing up non-stop. This time I sit by Jeremy and cry asking the Good Lord "Why me??." To which Jeremy ever so kindly informs me that I will be popping something out of me about the size of our 9 lb. Maltese. I tell him and his manly parts to stay 10 feet from me at all times for the next 10 years. Then, I throw up.. you know, just to show him.

pretending to "pop out" Parker. 

Hold on while I go breath into a paper bag.

April 30, 2010
I've gotten into a routine. I wake up nauseated. Lay for a minute. Get up slowly. Take a shower. Puke. Get ready slowly. Crawl to my car with two donuts and a coke. Gain enough energy on the drive to walk into work appearing semi-normal. Go throw up again. Eat macaroni and cheese for lunch. Start to feel sick a couple hours later and eat Peanut M&M's with another coke. Go home. Lay on the couch completely useless. Eat a baked potato. Start to feel sick again. Go to sleep. I decide at this point that I am nothing more than a vessel to it and it hates me... truly hates me.

May 5, 2010
Another visit to the OB/GYN. I get more pictures of the teddy bear baby along with a DVD. I decide that I like it today. The due date is December 2, the first day of Hanukkah. I imagine Megan will be thrilled because I'm sure she will think that Jeremy and I did this for her alone. :-)

May 9, 2010
I woke up all excited about celebrating my first Mother's Day. I picture breakfast in bed, flowers, a card, more flowers, and lots of attention. I get none. Around 2, I see a Hallmark commercial on TV for Mother's Day and start to cry. I keep crying. Then, Jeremy tells me I'm not a real mom. Yes, World, he almost died that day. And if it weren't for all the studies on kids growing up without a father in the home and the hardships told of single mothers, he would have. I just kept thinking, "What the #$** have I been doing the last two months???" So in between sniffles, I quickly and briefly informed him that 1. Every day as my head was stuck in toilet, he may not have felt very fatherly, but I certainly felt like there was a parasite little angel within me sucking every ounce of life from its source mother. 2. That Publix was approximately 1 mile from our house. 3. He had until midnight. I still have not received flowers nor a card nor breakfast in bed. I told him he might want to wear a cup in the delivery room.

May 14, 2010 - May 15, 2010
Sick once again. I've forgotten Mother's Day and have decided that while Jeremy should probably still wear a cup in the delivery room and he may want to add earplugs to the list, he is a real life saint. Over the past 2 months, he took on all the house work, packing (Yes, we were planning a move during all this), cooking, cleaning, and me. And while I don't think I am too much to handle, I can just see the faces of all my siblings as well as my parents as they hold back- no burst into loud hysterical laughter. At that moment, I decide that maybe way off in the future Jeremy might be able to get his manly parts near me again. I tell him this just as a run to the bathroom to puke.

May 28, 2010
We tell our families the exciting news. It takes them a good 4 minutes to register that we are pregnant and then the cheering and tears start.

This week has not been much better in the sick arena. I've decided that if I hear the comment one more time "You should be feeling great now!" someone will die. And it will be painful.

Oh, and to finish it up. Please go watch the scene from this past week's episode of Glee featuring Quinn. It made me laugh soo hard. I think I may have started off a fight with Jeremy last week with Quinn's opening speech. (It starts at 22:20)

Oh, and pictures of the house coming soon! It's beautiful!!

Special Announcement

A dear friend of mine, Kerinsa, made the following video for Jeremy and I. Please check out her site and talent HERE. She's an amazing photographer.

THANK YOU, KERINSA! The video made me cry... in a really happy way :-)

Do not stare

Do you remember in Sleeping Beauty how the needle on the sewing machine drew the princess to touch it causing her to fall into a deep sleep?

Well, stare too long at this face and you'll forget.

You'll forget that just moments before as you were trying to pack, he brought you every toy he owns and laid them in your lap. Then proceeded to stare at you as if you weren't trying to do accomplish anything at all.

You'll forget that as you packed each box, he had to sniff, bite, and come in contact with every item entering the box to ensure that it was indeed okay for that particular box.

You'll forget that he must literally be in the middle of all action. So moments earlier he was in your lap preventing you from reaching the items you were trying to pack.

You'll also forget that he just strung toilet paper throughout the bathroom for no reason than to add another item to your to do list.

Yes, this face is dangerous. And he knows it. He knows that if you get upset with him he just has to look at you. One look. And instantly you forget just how annoying and hard he can make packing. Then, instead of trying to pack, you pick up his toy and give him your undivided attention. Because that's just the kind of dog mom you are. A sucker for a cute face.