A peanut butter and jelly sandwich

I can say one thing about my relationship with Jeremy. We have some... er... interesting conversations.

For instance, for some reason, Jeremy insists that blueberry muffins are a dessert and should not be served with a meal. The problem is that one of my favorite meals is baked potatoes and blueberry muffins. As in, the blueberry muffins are the side item. This whole concept baffles him despite what Wikipedia says, "Muffins are often eaten for breakfast; alternatively, they may be served for tea or at other meals." Catch that, sweetheart?? "AT other meals." Still, he'd probably argue that other muffins are okay for a side just not blueberry muffins. There's no convincing him otherwise.

Yes, we just disagree on this subject. And, unfortunately, it is not an agreed upon matter since this conversation is repeated at least four times a year.

Well, the other day, we added another disagreeable matter to the list. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Here's how the conversation went:

Me: You should have seen B eating his PB&J today. He decided that it would be more fun to open it up and spread the inside all over his face and hair instead of eating it. It was hilarious  and a mess to clean up. I think we are going to have to take a break from making him any more.

Jeremy: Which side did he spread all over him?

Me: What do you mean?

Jeremy: Was it the peanut butter side or the jelly side?

Me: What are you talking about??

Jeremy: When you make a PB&J, one side is peanut butter and the other is jelly. So what side did he spread all over his face and head?

Me: That's not how I make a PB&J.

Jeremy: What? That's how everyone makes it. How do you make it?

Me: I put peanut butter on one slice of bread, put jelly on top of the peanut butter and then put the other slice of bread on top of that bread.

Jeremy: What?! That's not how you are supposed to do it. You don't get everything even that way.

Me: I think it is very even and who cares how it is done. It all tastes the same.

Jeremy: Well, you should really do it the other way. It tastes better. Everyone knows that.

Catch that?? My husband also suffers from the "everyone is like me" syndrome which is closely followed by the "I am always right" disease. There's no convincing that man of anything. We went round and round for another 5 or 10 minutes until I was able to distract him with something shiny.

That is until later on that evening when Megan got home. Upon asking her how she makes her PB&Js, we learned that she puts peanut butter and jelly on BOTH slices of bread and then puts it together. You should have seen Jeremy's face. You'd have thought she said that she makes them with bacon or avocados or something else completely bizarre. His theory that his way is the only way was slowly slipping out of his fingers. I tried to explain that I'm sure everyone has their own way, but he insists his way is the best and most popular way.

And so I now come to you: How do you make your PB&J?