I watch a lot of spy t.v.
No really. I watch practically nothing else, but spy shows. This fact alone has obviously made me an expert in the field. In fact, I do feel that I would be highly qualified as a spy.
I've even come up with my top 10 reasons why I should be a spy.
Ready?? Here we go.
Reason #10. I love to travel.
Reason #9. I can blend in with my surroundings.
Reason #8. I'm a quick learner.
Reason #7. I love figuring out secret codes.
Reason #6. Where in the world is Carmen San Diego?? Found her every time.
Reason #5. I can sense danger, because I am danger.
Reason #4. I can pretty much break into any car or building built before 1995.
Reason #3. I have an awesome memory of places and people. Ask me about any hotel I've ever stayed in.
Reason #2. My observation skills are pretty insane.
And the number one reason I should be a spy is {drum roll}
The crazy amount of pain I can withstand. {natural childbirth, what??}
Yes, clearly, I should be a spy.
Unfortunately, this was a fact I let out while talking on a government phone a few weeks ago and, let's be real, I was probably also complaining about the debacle up in Washington. Since then, I'm pretty sure that I am being watched and our phone lines are being tapped.
Yes, a while back, we started having phone trouble. At first I ignored it, but then it just kinda got to me so I called our provider and they sent out a technician. The gentleman was here for four hours {nightmare} and never fixed the actual problem, but he was doing something the entire time. Suspicious, right?
Then, I took my kids to the park last week. While there, I noticed a van had parked above the park. This van was all out of place. It was definitely being used for surveillance. Plus, an odd couple pulled up shortly after our arrival to play tennis. Their outfit and car was just not right. I'm pretty positive they were also part of the surveillance team. Oh, and when we were leaving so was the van and couple.
Yes. I should be a spy. I've got a sixth sense for these things. Truly.
But before you obviously concur I do have to come clean about one thing. I feel like I let my calling down last week.
Bradley was having one of his normal hyper days when he ran into one of our doors with glass windows. It shattered everywhere. Horrible mess. I get him and Miss M out of the danger zone and down for naps and return to clean up the mess. As I am doing so, I slice my finger quite well.
My first thought: "I need stitches."
My second thought, "If I were a spy, I would just tape this thing up and get back to business."
What did I do?
I went to the ER. Can you believe it??? After all my qualifications. After all my training via the television. I STILL chose to get my finger glued over taping it up and continuing with my mission.
Mission: FAILED
Jeremy says this is not the only reason I should not be a spy. But I reminded him that while I chose to get my finger glued, I barely felt the actual cut and had I not had blood gushing all over me I might not have even known I cut myself.
Plus, I covered the glue up with gauze and electrical tape because that was what we had on hand. See?? I'm resourceful too. {boom}
I think there might be chance after all.
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