January 15, 2014

Being Captivated, Molted, and Exhausted

Madelyn's {birth} day.

I recently read a blog where the mom says {about her motherhood experience of 3}, "I've never been so tired, or so captivated."

This simple sentence captures 2013 for me beautifully. To add another word, 2013 was a complete whirlwind.  

a random Saturday

Honestly, I'm amazed to have survived this far. There were moments over the last 12 months that I really didn't think this day would come. I was sure that the kids were going to sell me. I was positive I was going to sell them. I was also pretty certain that, due to lack of sleep, I would be in the nut house by now getting shock treatments to try and return me to a useful state to rejoin society.

 Bradley's last day of MMO, May 2013 {teacher: Mrs. Hannah}

I came across this article around Madelyn's 6 month mark. My favorite sentence, "Far more subtle and less discussed are the changes that we as mothers must make – for our sanity and our survival." This past year was filled with a lot of changes within myself. The article talks about a mother's need to 'molt' and, seriously, I couldn't agree more.

 Right before saying good-bye to Parker

As moms, we are always changing. We are daily learning to be less selfish, more loving, less irritated, more persistent, less distracted, more intentional. We are multitasking between house chores, jobs, multiple kids, a husband, pets, dinner, etc. It is exhausting. Yet... few things are as rewarding as to give in that many ways to the people we love the most.

Funny, huh? The things that make us mad keep us sane. 

 Bradley, first day of 2k.

2013 was a good year for us. We were exhausted for most of it. Took too little pictures. Spent way too much time on Netflix. And way too little time outside (It rained 72.92 inches last year! This was the most rain we've received in 30 years!) But we were walking life together. Growing closer as a little family. Learning more about ourselves and each other every day. And figuring out what our new roles looked like with a new baby in the mix. It was truly captivating.

 Teddy Bear Parade

Now, it is 2014. Time for more molting, more exhaustion, and more delighting. I'm excited. I'm hoping this year I'll take more pictures.  

 Bradley's first summer camp

Learn to love more richly and less selfishly.

Music time.

Read all kinds of books and take a little of each of them with me.

Bradley helping make breakfast.

Watch less Netflix.

 Bradley at the Firehouse in Thomasville.

And spend every day this summer outdoors taking in God's creation.

Bradley running an air strip.

And while I hope for all these things and more. I also know that my Sovereign Lord might have a different plan. For this, I am grateful that He knows more and can see far more and can understand all things way more than I possibly will. I am grateful that He is my Help.

Through poverty, through wealth, through sickness, through health; at home, abroad, on the land, on the sea; in honor, in dishonor, in perplexity, in joy, in trial, in triumph, in prayer, in temptation—“hitherto hath the Lord helped!”
But the word also points forward. For when a man gets up to a certain mark, and writes “hitherto,” he is not yet at the end; there are still distances to be traversed. More trials, more joys; more temptations, more triumphs; more prayers, more answers; more toils, more strength; more fights, more victories; and then come sickness, old age, disease, death. Is it over now? No! there is more yet—awakening in Jesus’ likeness, thrones, harps, songs, psalms, white raiment the face of Jesus, the society of saints, the glory of God, the fullness of eternity, the infinity of bliss. Oh, be of good courage, believer, and with grateful confidence raise thy “Ebenezer,” for,“He who hath helped thee hitherto Will help thee all thy journey through.” -C. H. Spurgeon