A compilation of letters

Over the past three months, I have written many a letters. Here are a few.

----------

Dear Jeremy,

You are a saint.

Love,
Your grossly sick un-human wife

----------

Dear Bradley,

Could you please quit bringing me all your toys whenever I am stuck in the bathroom?

Love,
Your grossly sick and weak mom

----------

Dear Parker,

Why do you insist on throwing up beside me every time I do??

Love,
Your grossly sick mom

-----------

Dear baby,

You are killing me. Please stop.

Sincerely,
Your soon-to-be deceased mom

------------

Dear future Jessica,

If you ever, ever, ever think about having another baby, please go into the bathroom, stick your head in the toilet and stay there for a few hours. Like it? Yeah, neither do I. If that doesn't change your mind, please put on your heaviest sweater on the hottest day of the year and stand outside for a few hours. Still not convinced?? Try not eating for a week and then go run a mile. Yeah, that's what I thought. Two kids is a great number!

Sincerely,
Your ugly past

------------

Dear Bella,

Does the drinking blood thing really work??

Sincerely,
Desperate

------------