Christmas is one of my favorite times of the year. I love the bustle, the decorations, Santa Claus, Church Services, shopping, the food, the music (when played between the day after Thanksgiving and Christmas day... no earlier or later), parties, games, reindeer, and, of course, the Christmas movies. Nothing is better than snuggling under a blanket on a cold night with the fireplace going and hot chocolate in hand to watch It's A Wonderful Life.
But for some reason this year I have been struggling to get in full mood of the Christmas season. At first, I thought it had something to do with me wanting to start my own family traditions. Then, I thought maybe it was Mr. Scrooge himself (a.k.a. Jeremy) who did not seem to think there was a point in decorating this year(a.k.a. celebrating Christmas in our home) because we are traveling a lot this holiday season.
But then it hit me.
The most fun things about Christmas are not meant for someone my age. Can you believe it???
Example: On Christmas Eve, I can call Onstar and find the exact location of Santa Claus throughout the day. When I heard this, I was super excited. What a great idea?! Well, my excitement lasted all of two seconds because Mr. Scrooge informed me that it doesn't matter because Santa Claus isn't real. And then he asked if I would actually be calling since I am 25 years old.... um... that would be a yes, Jeremy. I will be calling. Because it is freakin' awesome.
So this morning as I was thinking of all the other things I wanted to do during Christmas, I came to the realization that I need a child.
IMPORTANT NOTE TO FAMILY MEMBERS: I am in no way, shape, or form ready, willing, or able to have children at this time nor would I make a capable Mom. I am selfish, busy, and do not think I could handle someone depending on me 24/7. Sorry.
Yes, I need a child to borrow. In my mind, this is the perfect set up. I can be a kid at heart, you can get a break, and your child will have the time of their life!
Here's the plan: for the next two weeks, I will take your child caroling, Christmas light looking, and to sit on Santa's lap. Your child can help me decorate and bake sweets to eat. I will read to them each night, and watch Rudolf over and over again. On Christmas Eve, we will use Onstar to track Santa, lay out Santa's cookies and hot chocolate, and feed the reindeer. Then, (this is the best part) I will buy all their Santa presents! On Christmas morning, they will wake up early to find Santa was good. We'll read the Christmas story have beignets and, then, I'll return them to you: happy and exhausted.
You will have the easiest Christmas and I'll have a Christmas without Mr. Scrooge making fun of all the things I want to do. If you need recommendations, I can get those to you. You can call anytime. We'll take lots of pictures. And honestly, if you even wanted to join us in some of the activities, you can! I'll handle all the details.
It will be the best Christmas ever!
So, what do you say? May I borrow your child?