An insight into my family....

In case you are unaware, I have a slightly funny family.

Story #1:

Rebekah and I are at a local Greek restaurant when she notices the word "Gyro" to which she pronounces "Gie-row". I quickly correct her explaining that it is pronounced "Hero". She then exclaims, "Oh! So it's Spanish."

Story #2:

Megan smells smoke at her apartment. She opens her front door where she notices smoke and tiny flames coming out of her front porch light. She calls 911. Ten minutes later, the firemen are outside taking pictures of her "fire" which come to find out is a bird's nest... not her apartment.

Story #3:

Can only be shown through the following e-mail exchanges and video... (address has been blocked out for obvious reasons).

Dear Family Members,

I write to you with despair in my heart and tears in my eyes. In case you have not heard the terrible news, Aladdin, my beloved fish of 8 years has passed away this evening. I know he has a special place in all of our hearts and we should honor him since he was a loved family member. I have asked the funeral home to freeze him until we can all gather together, which will be next week. I do not want to over shadow Rebekah's special graduation day therefore we shall have Aladdin's burial Friday, May 20th at 7:15pm. We will gather at XXXXX in the sunroom for wake then burial immediately afterwards. Please be respectful and dress in black. I am sorry for ruining everyone's evening with this news. I know you all will need time for mourning.

Best regards,

Megan

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Dear Megan,

I am dreadfully sorry to hear this sad news. Aladdin was a bright, lively fish and will be missed dearly. I know in my encounters with him, he grew great in size and might and was a noticeably wonderful swimmer. His life was long and beautiful.

I feel extremely awkward asking this, but was wondering if it were possible to move the wake and funeral up to 6:30 p.m. so that your nephew could pay his respects to such a dear friend.

You are in our thoughts with love,
Jessica

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Jessica,

I greatly appreciate your kind words. I know Aladdin was always excited to see you. I was not quite sure if you and Jeremy would be comfortable introducing Bradley to such a sensitive subject but it is fine with me to move the wake and burial to 6:30pm on Friday. I would love to have the additional support as I approach this difficult time.

Sincerely,
Megan

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Dear Megan,

My heartfelt sympathy is extended to you at this time of great loss.  I pray that you will always carry with you the joy and good memories that Aladdin brought over the past 8 years.  Please know that everything will be prepared for the funeral.  If you have any additional requests, I will be happy to assist you.

In sympathy,

Mom

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Dear Megan,

My deepest sympathy for your loss. I have fond memories of feeding Aladdin extra fish flakes, because I wanted to keep him full and happy in his lifetime, but as I am writing this I am sensing a horrible correlation of the extra fish flakes to Aladdin only being able to swim upside down because his belly was so big. I hope that my bonding with Aladdin did not contribute to his untimely passing. As for the funeral arrangements I will be in attendance. I must let you know, however, that I do not own an outfit that is entirely black, but I do have a dark grey suit I will wear and, with your permission, a blue shirt that very much resembles the blue ocean that Aladdin once swam in long ago. I hope this tiny of bit of color is acceptable to you and could hopefully help remind us all that Aladdin is now swimming in a bigger ocean: heaven.

With much love and heartfelt sorrow,

Ryan  

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Ryan,

Yes I remember Aladdin always love seeing you because you would give him extra attention through fish flakes. I do not, and would never blame you for his untimely death. I am so thankful God allowed him to be with us as long as He did. I hope Aladdin is able to swim right-side up now that he is in Heaven. I know he is lighting up Heaven as we speak with his quite large bright orange body.

As for the attire, I think it is an excellent idea to add some blue to make it feel more homey, as the symbolism will help me realize that Aladdin is in a much happier place.

I appreciate you taking time out of your busy schedule to help honor such a dear family member. I know Aladdin is looking down from Heaven very pleased.

Sincerely,
Megan

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From my dad:

To:         Megan Poehler  
From:     Open Oceans Funeral Home (Where the oasis awaits your love ones)

Again, let us extend our deepest sympathy in your time of grief. We are so glad you have chosen us to help you with your final arrangements for your dearly departed. We have taken great pains in making sure all your wishes have been met and hope you find everything to your liken. Here at Open Oceans Funeral Home, we know how hard it is to make to those final decisions so we are here to help you. I have directed the staff to change the time from 7:15pm to 6:30pm as you have instructed. We have put Aladdin in cryogenic  suspension and placed him in a comfortable plastic beding until the time you have chosen. Our staff will check on him frequently since he has been tenderly placed close to the ice dispenser. The burial site is the last thing we have to know to complete our preparations. When you feel able to do so, please let one of our friendly staff members know what you have chosen. In case you want to choose another final resting spot, we do offer several burial options that might be more suitable to you. Please allow me to indulge you with our wide variety of choices. We have our popular, "Anchors Away" package that includes a 21 flush salute (a favorite among many of our sailor families). Your dearly departed once is place in a bright white porcelain bowl with blue ocean waters. We also have "I'll Fire Up the Barbie" which is popular with our Austrian families. It includes a BBQ dinner and fish fry afterwards which helps to take your mind off your grief while you enjoy the a good food with love ones.  And of course we have the "It's All Coming Up Roses" which is the one you have selected. It is a simple but elegant way of saying good bye to our gilled friends.
 
Once again, we mourn with you in the passing of your beloved fish and friend. Please call on us if there is anything else we can do before your ceremony.
 
We will be in touch as the time draws close.
 
Sincerely yours,  
Joe Crab Shack Director of Menus and Arrangements
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And from Rebekah:

 I say we heat up the grill and have some fish for dinner! I heard goldfish are healthy for you ;) 
  
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And yes, Rebekah, would be the only insensitive one...

So on May 20th, we gathered and mourned. Well.. kinda. Bradley had a fit right before the processional and so we had to pay our respects from another room. Mr. Steve Clawson and Mrs. Cheryl Clawson, though, were able to attend. Mr. Steve, as the minister, officiated and even wrote a song for our dearly beloved.

Yes, we did record the affair.

Oh! You should also note that I made Megan's veil for the occasion.

Yup, and believe it or not I wouldn't trade my family for anything. Because with them I know two things. 1. there is never a dull moment and 2. I will always laugh.

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PS

To vote for Steven Clawson as CMT's Next Superstar,

1. Text STEVEN to 32709

2. "Like" the CMT Next Superstar Facebook page and vote in their voting section or you can vote online at www.cmtnextsuperstar.com (But you must be logged in for the vote to count!).

You can vote 10 times per method per day!! So what are you waiting for?? Get voting!!

And turn in to CMT tonight to see  Steven walk the red carpet and perform at the CMT Music Awards!