Jeremy and I have been very fortunate in our first four years of marriage. It hasn't been completely fight free, but neither of us could say it has been hard either. I suppose it's because we knew each other so long before getting married. Plus, we were great friends before we even dated. So we just got more comfortable with each other in marriage.
While our lives didn't change too much after having Bradley, our marriage certainly did. I remember the first couple of weeks after Bradley's birth the immense love Jeremy and I felt for each other. It was really wonderful and seriously there was no other time I felt closer to my husband. However, shortly after exhaustion began to set in and weigh on our marriage.
And to be honest, for the first time in four years, it was tough. I was tired, my brain wasn't working properly, and I needed/wanted more attention than normal from Jeremy.
At the same time, Jeremy was tired, he was trying to meet my needs by giving me breaks from Bradley plus figure out how to be a working dad, and he was just out of the habit of pursuing me.
It was hard.
Add to it that neither of us really ever dated each other. We were such great friends before we dated that when we started "dating" we pretty much did the same thing as before just added in kissing.
So for the first time in four years, we both had to be super intentional. Intentional with our actions and intentional with our time. Plus, we had to clearly communicate what we needed most from the other person. (Have you ever tried to clearly communicate on three hours of sleep?? It took us a while.)
The funk lasted about five months. It was hard, but so worth the outcome.
This past week a friend from our church sent out the music video of Andrew Peterson's song "Dancing in the Minefields". The lyrics are beautiful and so true. Here's a snippet.
Well "I do" are the two most famous last words
The beginning of the end
But to lose your life for another I've heard is a good place to begin
'Cause the only way to find your life is to lay your own life down
And I believe it's an easy price for the life that we have found
And we're dancing in the minefields
We're sailing in the storms
And it was harder than we dreamed
But I believe that's what the promise is for
That's what the promise is for
Jeremy and I so easily forget the beauty of marriage and its symbolism to Christ and the Church. How awesome is it that I have the opportunity to live out the gospel daily in my own home? That I can lose my life for another. That I can go "dancing in the minefields" and fully rely on the promise.
Yup, a marriage and a baby may be tough. But a marriage and a baby is full of blessings.
The music video via YouTube: