September 5, 2009

See Jessica Run

 I decided four months ago that I wanted to be a runner. I was trying to lose my newlywed weight and knew running would help a ton. The problem is that I am not a runner. I have never enjoyed it. And I have never been good at it. Plus, I have runner's knee... without ever running....

Needless to say, I got the great idea in my head and I started... slowly. While my youngest sister is a soccer star and can run forever with no trouble, I ran .25 miles and got shin splints. Now, 4 months later I am finally up to 1.25 miles... please don't laugh... and was feeling proud.

I was proud because my goal is to be at 3 miles by Christmas and I still have time. Piece of cake, right? Well, if you say right then you must be a runner. I'm convinced runners cannot relate to non-runners. They don't understand what it is like to feel like your lungs aren't big enough to gather all the air needed to live OR how hard it is to run with the feeling of swords in your side!

 My boss is one of you runners. She's not just any runner. She's a talking runner. She wants to talk to me while we run while I can barely breathe much less get words out!! Another problem is that I've been training on a treadmill indoors where air blows on me at a constant rate and there is no such thing as hills and thanks to Superman's suggestion (my family doctor) I listen to dance tunes. It's a perfect set-up. But my boss wants to run outdoors... so I run with her. While she breezes through and runs circles around me (literally), I sound like I'm having an asthma attack and end up walking to my car ashamed that I can't keep up and gave up at .75 miles. 

Well, on Wednesday I decided to practice for my next run with her by taking my 8lb Maltese, Parker, for a run.  Parker has so much energy. I knew he'd love to get some of his energy out. I also figured I would take him running for as long as he could go and then end up carrying him the final bit because he'd be so exhausted. My goal was 1.5 miles.

 Parker and I set out. The weather was perfect early fall weather. And the sun was bright. I had my tunes and my dog and just knew I'd do great. at first, Parker ran steadily ahead of me only stopping to use the restroom. At 1 mile, I could go no further and switched to walking.  My dog continued to run this time only stopping to turn around and look at me and wait for me as I caught up to him. Once I caught up, he started running again.... and when we were done with the final .5 I fell in exhaustion into my couch while my dog decided that he needed a few more laps around the apartment...

 Now, I don't know what's more embarrassing. Getting shown out by my boss or my dog.... Did I mention that I hate running?


Debbie Poehler said...

Laugh out loud funny!

Darleen Bailey said...

I like co-worker #4's response. Its no nonsense, quick, and to the point!