October 9, 2011

Truth of the matter

You know that joke, "How many {fill in blank} does it take to change a light bulb?"

Well, I take offense to that joke and here's why.

A few years ago {as in 4 years ago}, I turned on a light in our in our living room; the light blew out.

I went to the laundry room and grabbed another bulb.

I then proceeded to put the bulb into the lamp {as I had done many times before} and the light bulb exploded and went everywhere. It was the third most scariest moment of my life.

{In case you are super curious, the first most scariest moment was when I choked on a peppermint and saw my 12 year old life flash before my eyes. The second was a horrible car wreck I was in with Jeremy. And the fourth was when I was attacked multiple times in a week by cockroaches.}

Anyways, back to my story.

The light bulb exploded. I freaked and have refused ever since to change a light bulb. Hence, why I take offense to that nonsense joke.

{How many Jessicas does it take to change a light bulb? None. I don't change them. Why, you ask? Because I am smart enough to avoid the possibility of a light bulb exploding in my face and me loosing an eyeball... that's why!}

See.. if I were to actually say that to people, they'd look at me and laugh. And it's really not a laughing matter.

Then, this morning in Sunday School, a woman spoke about being a wife and how sometimes you need to put your big britches on and handle the household rather than putting so much on your husband.

I was convicted. I rely on Jeremy for a lot like taking out the trash, cleaning the bathrooms, and... changing the light bulbs.

So when a light bulb blew out tonight, I decided to change it myself. My first light bulb in 4 years.

Bradley was asleep. Jeremy was out playing music. I was all alone and determined to take care of it.

I grabbed the bulb, undid the lamp shade, took the light bulb out, put the new light bulb in, turned the light on... and nothing.

Dead serious. Nothing happened.

My first thought was that maybe it wasn't the light bulb. Maybe the lamp isn't fully plugged in. I proceeded to then unscrew the light bulb I had just put in in order to put the original one back in {no use wasting a bulb} and it won't come out.

I went lefty loosey, right tighty... and nothing. So I switched it up and went right loosy, lefty tighty. Still stuck.

So now, the stupid light bulb sits, not working, and waiting for Jeremy to come home and handle it, which, by the way, should have probably happened in the first place. I mean, changing light bulbs isn't too much to put on his plate. Heck, I think I'm going to continue to let him handle the trash and bathrooms too. Obviously, there's a reason he gets those tasks.... Who am I to mess with what works??


Jeremy just got home.

He was able to unscrew the light bulb in seconds.

He then looked at me and asked if I had even tried to unscrew it. Really??? It's a conspiracy. The light bulbs are all against me.

Oh, and to add salt to injury, Jeremy told me the lamp was unplugged; it didn't need a new light bulb.  {"Why didn't you check, Jessica??" Um.. maybe because the timer clicked as in it was acting as if it was plugged in. Duh!}

All I can say is, Jeremy, you win this hand.... But I'm onto you and the light bulbs. Your time will come....

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