When the crazy come outs

If you are a longtime blog reader, I am sure you have come to the conclusion that we have a unique family.

For instance, I swear our dog, Parker, has the Pinocchio syndrome. "I just wanna be a real boy!"

He tries so hard to fit in and appear human. But then he does things like this.

(Sorry, the video was longer than I expected. Teaches me to watch videos before uploading them.)

I suppose it's his form of cologne for the ladies. And by ladies I mean his one true love Rooster. Which did I ever mention that he sent her a booty dance video?? Yeah... my phone went to be in Apple heaven or else I would show you. It was h.i.l.a.r.i.o.u.s. You'll just have to trust me.

While Parker loves the scent of a bounty dry sheet, he hates air fresheners and will attack if he even suspects you will be using it. This does create some very uncomfortable bathroom moments.

Wait!? You didn't think I was actually going to show you one of those moments, did you??? 

This is a family blog. Geez, people. Where is your mind??

One of Parker's most recent crazies is when I go to walk him. Mind you, this only happens when I walk him.

As you can tell in the video, a simple "Let's go outside" no longer suffices. No, life has become a game. A game of chase. A chase to catch a squirrel. I honestly have no idea what our little Parker will do with a creature his size if he does ever catch one.Thankfully, this is probably very similar to his dream of being a real boy... It's just a dream.

And then you have our latest addition to the family, Bradley. Bradley brings his own crazy to the table. I really think it is becoming our M.O. Let's call his the Superman dream, plus his desire to be the family clown.

The "dun, dun, dun, dun" came randomly. He raised his arm, I said the phrase, he smiled, and our household has never been the same. The kissing the high chair happened because he accidentally followed the spoon all the way down to the high chair when I was trying to get another spoonful of yogurt. I laughed because it really was comical.

And when I laugh, he naturally laughs. He, then, proceeds to repeat whatever it was that made me laugh over and over and over again in hopes of getting the same reaction. Hence, he continued to kiss the high chair.

I have a feeling this will all come back when we hit school age... Oh me, oh my!

Private school and Hookers

Jeremy and I were discussing Bradley and his education.

Me: I just don't know how we are going to pay for private school.

Jeremy: Well, he won't go until Middle School and you'll be working by then, right?

Me: I kinda like staying at home. Maybe I can work part-time.

Jeremy: Yeah. That will work. You should just try to make enough so that you can pay for his school.

Me: Then, I guess I'll have to hang out at the street corner.

Jeremy: You can make more than just his school tuition doing that.

Jeremy: The man who sees the glass half full.

I am thankful

I have a confession to make to you. I have been hiding something from you out of pure confusion. It has come to pass that I have become June Cleaver.

(via)

I clean. I knit. I give jewelry parties. I even cook now. All with a smile on my face. I have no idea what is going on. The cooking thing is the biggest mystery of them all. I am cooking and/or baking all the time. And people are eating the food. And they are enjoying the food! It is absolutely insane. Jeremy would call it a miracle I'm sure. He gets this silly little grin every time we talk about this change that has taken place. It's almost as if in our house he's transported back to the 1950s and he's loving it. Makes me want to puke.

And it's just so odd. Even the cookies I think I completely mess up turn out to taste wonderful. I just don't get it.

Well, with all this new baking and cooking I have come across the need for more kitchen appliances. In particular, my eyes have been set on a KitchenAid Stand Mixer.

For over a two months, I begged Jeremy daily for one. I kid you not. I would bring it up in the morning before I cooked. I'd call while I was cooking. I'd especially mention it as he ate whatever it was that I had made.

We have researched, calculated how long it would take us to save up to buy one, thought about what we could live without... And all pointed to my dreams because clearly that would be the only place I could actually use one in this decade.

Then, Mr. UPS knocks on my door with this on his rolly thing.

I seriously lost my mind for about an hour. I couldn't take my eyes off of it. And I distinctly remember hearing angels singing the Hallelujah chorus.

You see, over the summer my Grandparents came to visit. And apparently while they were here, they took a look around and noticed I didn't have one of these and I needed one. It was a total God thing.

Two days before this amazing delivery, my Grandparents had called Jeremy and I to let us know that our Christmas gift was coming early so that we could use it over the holidays. I was extremely curious, but never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that this is what we would have gotten. It was beyond the perfect gift.

Isn't it gorgeous???

That night I decided that it must be used. My first item to make in it was a Halloween version of my Mexican Hot Chocolate Chip Cookies.

Soo good! And the KitchenAid was ah-mazing. It totally changes my entire cooking experience for the better. I have also made 3 batches pumpkin bread, a batch sugar cookies and chocolate chip cookies, and another batch of just the regular Mexican Hot Chocolate Chip cookies. It is phenomenal.

I am so thankful for my Grandparents and their thoughtfulness. To think that they had this planned since the summer and that I have been begging Jeremy for one since the summer without them knowing is just beyond concept.

Now, please excuse me while I go stare at it and try to think of the perfect name for it. Any suggestions??

Thank you, Insomnia.

2 a.m.: I have a bad dream and wake up.

2:15 a.m.: I play Cross Fingers on Jeremy's iPhone.

3:00 a.m.: I try to sleep. Jeremy snores. Jeremy wrestles the sheets. Bradley starts to talk in his sleep. Bradley wrestles his blanket. Parker starts to scratch his bed.

3:45 a.m.: I give up and get ready for the day.

4:45 a.m.: Jeremy wakes up. Parker wakes up. I clean the kitchen.

5:30 a.m.: I make decaf coffee because. of course, when I only get 4 hours of sleep the ONLY coffee in our house is decaf.

5:35 a.m.: Jeremy makes the comment that he loves me being awake and seeing him off to work.

5:36 a.m.: I tell Jeremy that I would greatly appreciate if he'd sleep on the couch tonight so that maybe I can get a good night's rest.

5:45 a.m.: Jeremy leaves. I fold clothes.

8:00 a.m.: Bradley wakes up. Because only my kid would sleep in on the ONE day that I get no sleep and am actually awake and would happily get him earlier.

8:15 a.m.: Bradley is in a mood and being super annoying (i.e. throwing everything off the dresser, taking his socks off relentlessly). I tell him that I know he's doing this on purpose and I don't appreciate him annoying me on a day that I need an easy baby. He laughs so hard that Megan comes into the room. Only my kid.

8:30 a.m.: I need Chick-fil-A. I round up Bradley and Parker and we head out.

8:32 a.m.: Parker climbs into Bradley's car seat with Bradley. I tell both my boys that no good will come from this situation and they should reconsider. Bradley starts to happily and loudly talk to Parker. Parker cuddles closer.

8:34 a.m.: I am proven right when Bradley grabs Parker's hair and Parker growls. I tell Parker to move. He gladly does.

8:36 a.m.: Parker whimpers to get in the front seat. I start to question why I brought him. He obviously has no car manners.

8:45 a,m: We are back at the house and eat our breakfast.

9:00 a.m.: Bradley randomly starts to cry. I call Jeremy who asks Bradley what is wrong. He answers, "Mama." Great.....

9:15 a.m.: Both boys go down for a nap and I glare.

7 hours down, 12 to go.

Daylight Savings

Or should I call it Daylight Losing??

I have always been a huge fan of daylight savings. There is something about waking up to no sun that just seems unnatural to me. And so daylight savings makes my world more sane.

If only Bradley had inherited this need.....

I am seriously losing my mind over here. Last night, Jeremy and Megan both thought that I had a stroke. None of my sentences made sense once spoken. In my mind, they were perfect.

For instance, Parker was below Bradley's high chair and I thought, "I hope Parker is eating Bradley's food and not just sniffing it." But what I actually said was, "I hope that's Parker under Bradley's highchair eating that food."

Unfortunately for me, in out household if you do one thing silly, you will be made fun of the rest of the night. So all night every time Parker entered the room, he was asked if it was really him.

But now you get what's going on over here. We are putting B down at 7 and he's waking up between 4-6. We tried putting him down at 8 and he still woke up at 5 am!! Have you seen 5 am lately?? It's not pretty.

The worst part is that I get no sympathy from Jeremy. He gets up between 4:30 - 5:00 every morning. And we go to bed about the same time. So to him, I should be getting plenty of sleep. I should have no problems functioning.

Clearly, he is mistaken.

Internet, this is why I come to you: for pure sympathy.

You see, I really cannot function on little sleep. My son is a hurricane strength force that literally destroys my house each and every day. And all I want to be able to sleep until 7 am. That's it. Is that too much to ask of the person to whom I birthed. To whom I carried in my womb for 10 months??? To whom I feed and clothe??

I'll be frank. No. No, it is not.

{Video of the Week} Let's Kiss

There have been many moments when I want my video camera to capture something cute B is doing and can't get to the other room fast enough to grab it.

Then, there are moments like below when I just happened to have the camera out while cleaning our bedroom.

Enjoy!