Skinny Jeans

Do you have a pair?? If your a female, I am sure you do. Let me introduce you to my skinny pair of jeans..

This picture was taken July 2007 on my honeymoon. It was the last time I could fit into them.

Apparently getting married goes hand in hand with weight gain. People say it is "happy weight." Personally, I never found happiness in my new found fat. Don't get me wrong. I did try. I bought really cute larger outfits. I cleaned out my closet twice and gave all the clothes that no longer fit to my younger sister.  but I just couldn't find the happiness in it.

Eevery time I cleaned out my closet the skinny jeans would remain. At first, I kept them as a reminder of skinny times and a slight hope that one day I would fit in them again.. just maybe. But for the past two years, these jeans have laughed at me. They have stared at me and dared me to try them on.

Thankfully, I also had a have gym membership the past 2 years that was just begging to be used! (Well, it was more Jeremy doing the begging since we were paying for it.. Every month he as like, "why are we paying for this gym if you aren't going to use it?" And I was like, "Because one day I will use it.. And I need to keep the membership for that day.. Plus we are under a contract!")

Oh, and I my boss  wanted me to join her and her daughter for their insane workouts. (100 lunges, 50 squats, AND a 2 mile run 3 times a week. Yes insane, but absolutely worth it!)

AND, I have the best siblings ever who put up with my need for competition and agreed to make it into a bet where we all competed to meet some type of goal. (Obviously mine was to lose weight.)

For the past 6 months, I have been going to the gym at least 5 times a week, learning how not to compete with my husband's portions at meal time, and have taken away all sweets and sodas except for one day a week.

And then two weeks ago, I met my goal!

There was still one test to complete, though. I had to try on the jeans.

I slowly went to my closet and said a prayer. I knew it would be devastating for them not to fit. I would be forced to give up food all together. And I like food. So with my husband by my side I pulled out the jeans and sucked in for good measure...

 I got the zipper up! 

AND THEY FIT!! 

I could even breathe in them!!  You have no idea how happy I was. No longer would these jeans mock me. No more would they collect dust. No more would I be tempted to hand them down as my final act of acceptance. Nope. Now I will wear them everyday as a way to commemorate the occasion.

I even wore them while I made celebratory cookies!!

And I have worn them ever since :-)

My Calf

 

This post is dedicated to my new, wonderful calf.

Growing up I had many dreams for myself. I wanted to go to college (check), get a job (check), get married (check), and have calf muscles. I have never had them. I remember in dance class as a high schooler having to do stretches. There was this one stretch I was always embarrassed to do because it required you to flex your calf muscle to lift your feet off the floor. I always had to fake it. I remember watching the real dancers and dreaming of having their legs so that I could do the stretch.

Then I remember entering the workforce and falling in love with high heels. I wanted so bad for my calves to match that of the models on the runways. I once even tried applying makeup on my calf to give the illusion of a real muscle. It didn't last long.

I had almost given up on the dream. I figured I was doomed by hereditary and was going to be cursed with legs with no definition below the knee... man legs... It was horrible. Why me??

Then, last week I pulled out my favorite pumps, a fitted skirt, and decided to walk confidently into work ignoring the ugliness of my plain legs. As I walked up the stairs to my office the light from the window hit my leg just right and I couldn't believe my eyes.... below me was a calf muscle!! It isn't a tiny calf muscle; it is a huge, womanly calf muscle!!! 

I didn't think it was possible, but my dream of having calf muscles has come true. Now, I can't take the high heels off. And I can't stop staring at this new muscle. I just wish I knew a dancer to show her that I too can do those silly stretches... without cheating! Ha!

As a side note: I know that this is probably the result of me running and that to maintain this awesome new look I will have to keep running, but can I just celebrate without running for just a little longer??

Sitting in my hole

 

Remember Frankie from Seinfeld?

(Side note: I am a HUGE Seinfeld fan. Not one day passes by where I don't think, "I saw this on Seinfeld." or "This could be a Seinfeld episode." The show was genius.) 

Frankie was in the episode where Kramer decided he wanted to stop mail. Hilarious! Anyways, Frankie in that episode was known for digging holes in the park and sitting in them when he got upset. It was quite funny.

Well, if I was near a park and could dig a hole, I would. And I would sit in it for a really, really long time. And who knows, maybe I would meet another Frankie who just wants to sit with me.

Cause sometimes the only way to deal with stress is to hide from it until the feeling of despair goes away.

Research paper countdown: 11 days 4 hours

See Jessica Run

 I decided four months ago that I wanted to be a runner. I was trying to lose my newlywed weight and knew running would help a ton. The problem is that I am not a runner. I have never enjoyed it. And I have never been good at it. Plus, I have runner's knee... without ever running....


Needless to say, I got the great idea in my head and I started... slowly. While my youngest sister is a soccer star and can run forever with no trouble, I ran .25 miles and got shin splints. Now, 4 months later I am finally up to 1.25 miles... please don't laugh... and was feeling proud.

I was proud because my goal is to be at 3 miles by Christmas and I still have time. Piece of cake, right? Well, if you say right then you must be a runner. I'm convinced runners cannot relate to non-runners. They don't understand what it is like to feel like your lungs aren't big enough to gather all the air needed to live OR how hard it is to run with the feeling of swords in your side!

 My boss is one of you runners. She's not just any runner. She's a talking runner. She wants to talk to me while we run while I can barely breathe much less get words out!! Another problem is that I've been training on a treadmill indoors where air blows on me at a constant rate and there is no such thing as hills and thanks to Superman's suggestion (my family doctor) I listen to dance tunes. It's a perfect set-up. But my boss wants to run outdoors... so I run with her. While she breezes through and runs circles around me (literally), I sound like I'm having an asthma attack and end up walking to my car ashamed that I can't keep up and gave up at .75 miles. 

Well, on Wednesday I decided to practice for my next run with her by taking my 8lb Maltese, Parker, for a run.  Parker has so much energy. I knew he'd love to get some of his energy out. I also figured I would take him running for as long as he could go and then end up carrying him the final bit because he'd be so exhausted. My goal was 1.5 miles.

 Parker and I set out. The weather was perfect early fall weather. And the sun was bright. I had my tunes and my dog and just knew I'd do great. at first, Parker ran steadily ahead of me only stopping to use the restroom. At 1 mile, I could go no further and switched to walking.  My dog continued to run this time only stopping to turn around and look at me and wait for me as I caught up to him. Once I caught up, he started running again.... and when we were done with the final .5 I fell in exhaustion into my couch while my dog decided that he needed a few more laps around the apartment...

 Now, I don't know what's more embarrassing. Getting shown out by my boss or my dog.... Did I mention that I hate running?

Staff Meeting

 

Me: "Last night I watched this show on Spike called Deadliest Warrior. The episode I saw was the Spartan vs. Ninja. The Ninja had crushed up glass that he would throw at his enemy's face. The glass would slowly grind into the enemy's eyes and blind him. I want some of that glass to carry around in case I'm ever attacked."

 

Co-Worker amidst laughter: "What?! Why not just use pepper spray?"

 

Me: "Pepper spray will only stun them for a little bit." 

 

Co-Worker #2: "Well, it would be long enough for you to get away."

 

Me: "But I want him to suffer and forever regret the day he tried to attack me. Plus, I don't want him to try attacking me or anyone else ever again." 

 

Co-Worker #3: "No, they wouldn't. They would just send someone else after you." 

 

Co-Worker #4: "If I were you, I'd just get a gun and shoot him. That would definitely end it."

The Grocery List

It's a magical thing. When an item is used up or thought up, it goes on this piece of paper on our refrigerator. Then, each Sunday, the item appears at our apartment. This wonderful, magical list has only one flaw: my husband.


My husband has taken over the task of cooking each night. He is an amazing cook and I am so grateful for the time and energy he puts into it. But he doesn't seem to understand the full magic of the list.


I do partly blame myself. Since we got married two years ago, we have gone grocery shopping together. I enjoy the company and Jeremy has a keen talent for finding the most random items in a grocery store. It comes in handy.


But for most of those two years I cooked. And at that time the list was the best and easiest part of those trips. I would put the needed items on the list and then get those items. See how easy?!


But this is where the idea of the list gets lost in translation to Jeremy. Although he gets the part of putting things on the list that we need to pick up, he decides that while we are at the store he is going to add items at random to our cart. In his words, he "likes to get inspired while shopping." (insert pause)


Please understand. It is not the adding items to our cart that I mind. It's the time it takes for Jeremy to add the items to our cart. The main reason I was so eager for Jeremy to join me in my shopping trips originally was that he would help me make the trip faster. I could give him 4 items to go find while I continued down the aisles and he would shortly return with those items. Trips that would take me alone an hour take us together less than 30 minutes! Teamwork! It's awesome. And for someone as busy as I am, it means I can now actually get through my to do list for that day. I seriously thought I was the smartest wife in the world!


And then Jeremy decided to get inspired...


Now, grocery store trips last over an hour. And in case you didn't know, I'm not a very patient person. I would probably be okay if we shopped at Wal-Mart because the lines are an hour long alone, but we shop at Publix. There are no lines for me to wait on and I have stuff to do!


And while I really do enjoy shopping with Jeremy because he is wonderful to have around and we do laugh a lot, if his inspirations aren't put on our list or at least found at a quicker pace I may just have to provide him with some additional inspiration.